Guiltless Freedom

I’ve been reading other’s blogs as suggested in our Blogging 101 assignment. I discovered beautiful photos, interesting stories, inspiration, struggles, successes, sources of pride, and responses to Blogging 101 and Writing 101.  I’m enjoying the exploration. It’s always a comfort to discover others marching to the same music.

What actually inspired me to create another post? Several comments I read referring to experiencing guilt for no longer working.  This was said by folks who have retired.

That’s when I realized I must be marching to a different tune.  I had to retire a couple years early due to a bout with cancer.  I am THRILLED to be out of the work force. I had a wonderful position that afforded me countless opportunities for accomplishment.  But I worked hard and put in my time.  I can now look back, think about the things I made happen, feel that sense of pride and then be damn happy I don’t have to do it any more.  I have to admit, the transition was a bit challenging.  I found myself involved in volunteer efforts for awhile but realized my health compromised my ability to perform well.   I gave myself permission to say no.  The power to say no provides relief.  Freedom!

My time is spent the way I choose.  I still put in hours of work (not always 😜) but on personal pursuits. All those things I said I’d like to do if I had the time.  I tend to procrastinate at times, but who cares?  I have goals and objectives but the timeline is much more relaxed.  There are a lot of “buts” now and that’s OK. I give myself permission.  Freedom!

Another stage of life I experienced years ago was menopause.  Glorious menopause!  Many women are sad when it arrives as though it threatens their very identity as a woman. Is that the only thing that defines who you are?  I have never doubted the fact that I am a woman.  Freedom!

Three years ago I had cancer.  It was necessary for me to undergo two different chemo treatments simultaneously – treatments for the cancer in my body and another type of chemo for the mass in my brain.  They worked.  I had the typical side effect from all that chemo…I lost all my hair.  All of it.  On my head, arms, legs, face… everywhere.  Alas!  I no longer had to shave, pluck or curl.  I loved it!  So many women go through a mourning process when they lose their hair.  Not me.  I was not destined for the walk of shame.  I had done nothing to cause this, the loss was out of my control.  Relax and enjoy.  Be grateful for the treatment.  It sure beats the alternative.  Again, Freedom!  Just a note:  almost all my hair grew back.

There are certainly advantages to reaching this stage of my life and, of course disadvantages.  Each decade is a new experience.  Embrace what you can do and don’t sweat the stuff you can’t.  Enjoy the now and enjoy the Freedom!